Monday, January 15, 2018

Crushing it - Completing goals while raising our kids


I posted this on a private forum but felt it was appropriate to add here.

While you're crushing it, remember your kids. Put them first. Crush it while they're at school, taking a nap or in bed for the night. While your children are young "crushing it" means making sure they have clean clothes, healthy meals, support in their studies, someone to hear about their day, and time to be just kids. If you can do that you are totally crushing it.
"Crushing it" means doing the things that makes your home a haven for your family. It's safe, comfortable, comforting, and the place your family wants to be more than anywhere else.
It means seeing to your own welfare because you can't see to the needs of your family when you're running on empty. That said, some goals need to be set aside until the children are much, much older.
You see, as a mom who's looking back, I see where I fell short. I listened to the people who said I could do it all. I didn't understand the concept of "seasons". There's a time to be a full time mom and a time to pursue my own interests and for a very brief period of time these, to some extent, are mutually exclusive. I understand single moms need to work. Some moms need to work part-time to make ends meet, but beyond meeting basic needs kids want your time more than they want stuff. They don't need daily after school activities - sports and enrichment. They need relaxing family time.
Now that my kids are grown, I have lots of time to pursue my own goals. I'm not too old to meet any of the goals I had when my children were young. Now I can "crush it" without worrying about whether I should be doing something else. I don't have to decide between my desires and the kids. I wish when they were little that I had this perspective because I wouldn't have resented the things I gave up because the children needed me. I would have relished every moment with them - every age, every stage - because it doesn't last long. From the time they're born - listen, listen, listen - never assume that they should know better. They don't have the life experience you have; why would they have your wisdom?
Okay, I'm done. Just remember, family first.